After seeing the state of a couple would-be race cars, TrackDaze co-owner, Jeremy Jens, bowed out from driver duties saying, "You guys are nuts!" But he gave his blessing on TrackDaze's sponsorship of the car – not that we really needed it since the other co-owner, Eric Campbell, was our team captain. Along with Eric and your humble author (HPDE Champion and ex-autocrosser), team TrackDaze of Thunder consisted of TD/NASA instructors Dave Stephens and Frank Pickney, and driver/mechanic extraordinaire Richie Bossaco. Track Daze Chief of Instruction, Colin Jevens, would be our ringer, having several years of racing and winning in NASA Camaro-Mustang Challenge and other series.
Once our team line-up was complete, we started the search for a suitable LeMons car. We decided we needed something not necessarily fast but definitely reliable. With the majority of us being VW enthusiasts at one time or another, a Mk2 or Mk3 Golf was the clear choice: reliable (stop snickering), small, light (sorta), and quick (not so much in a straight line but on a road course it'll hold its own). Scouring online ads, Eric found a 1996 VW Golf dirt-track car on eBay for $600. It looked about as perfect as a $500 crap-can race car from upstate New York could as it already had a cage in it along with brand-new, dirt tires and wheels worth more than the car itself. We figured we'd be able to sell the lights, wheels and tires to bring it down to the maximum value of $500, which we did. But the judges didn't quite see it that way. More on that later.
Perfect as the car seemed, it still required some work. Eric and Richie were able to retrieve and prep the car enough (change fluids and clutch, new brake pads and rotors) that we could take it to our own event at Summit Point's Shenandoah circuit in May where we discovered that, even after replacing it, the clutch was slipping. After another clutch change, we ran the car the weekend before LeMons at our New Jersey Motorsports Park event on the Thunderbolt circuit. While marginally better, it was still slipping. Worse yet, the left-rear caliper wasn't working–at all. This lead to a fairly dramatic lock-up and spin off track going into Turn 1 by yours truly. Last-minute prep included obtaining a working caliper, applying "Meller Yeller" decals, painting our numbers, another engine and transmission oil change, and finishing some tweaks to the cage. It was announced that there would be open-practice on Friday. This would be our last chance before the race for shakedown and speedy repairs should anything break. 
Summit Point was about to be invaded. The LeMons registration listed 86 entrants for the race on the Shenandoah circuit. Summit's own Friday at the Track (FATT) was on the Main circuit. NASA was hosting a race weekend on the Main circuit and many competitors would be arriving early. NASA's Hyperfest–a massive car show with vendors, concours, drifting, arrive-and-drive, fireworks, bands, food, parties, etc etc–was also on Saturday. Needless to say, Summit Point would be a clash of cultures, crowded, and if not a good time at least interesting.
Much hand-wringing was done about traffic jams trying to get into the facilities but I sailed through the Shenandoah gate Friday afternoon. Thinking that the gates would be open at 7am, Colin and Frank had arrived at the track sometime after 3am only to fall asleep then wake up at 6:45 and find that the gates had opened at 5am. Still, prime paddock space was available and they secured a spot next to Colin's friends with GoGoDyne Racing. Due to work getting in the way of my hobbies, I was unable to make it to SP until 3:30pm, missing most of open practice and car shakedown. Having driven Shenandoah multiple times, I wasn't too worried about where to go on track but wanted the opportunity to drive at least a few laps in order to sample driving in full race gear, as this would be my first time in a suit and HANS. As it turned out, I wasn't able to get in the car but driving with the additional safety equipment wasn't a big deal at all.
While I was making my way to the track, Eric and crew took our car through technical inspection where it was determined that our seat needed better mounting and the rather large rust holes in the floorboards needed covering. "BS inspection" followed and Eric did a fine job in presenting our team, car, and case to the judges who deemed our suspension too stiff for a 14-year-old Golf. They also disagreed with our interpretation of the rules with respect to selling parts of the car to lower value and recoup costs and thus slapped us with a fifteen lap penalty. Eric began to protest but quickly bit his tongue when asked if we wanted to start thirty laps in the hole and they rolled out to fix the seat and cover the holes. Once completed, our car, helmets, and suits were deemed "good enough" and we were ready to race the next day. But not before enjoying the hospitality of several teams' food and beverages. In particular, GoGoDyne was supplying the paddock with free samples of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA and Flying Dog Pale Ale.
Saturday morning came way too early for the amount of beer consumed. After an entertaining drivers' meeting, we hurriedly changed tires (oops: lug bolts too short), zip-tied water bottles to the cage, secured and wired Colin's cool-shirt cooler, checked fluid levels and a ton of other stuff we probably should have done the night before. Lessons learned. We hurriedly strapped Colin into the car, thinking that we'd put our most experienced driver out into the grand mess that would ensue when the green flag dropped. The start of the race was anticlimatic from our paddock space at least. There was no qualifying or grid positions so all the (running) cars made their way out onto track and circulated under full-course yellow flags until the green was randomly dropped at the start-finish line. In fact, we didn't know the track was green until we heard someone else yell "green! green! green!" It was on!
Colin made good progress through the pack and had several of the fastest lap times during his stint. Our first driver change to get Eric into the car took a little bit longer than it should have but again that was just part of the learning process and by the end of the event we were capable of doing sub-five-minute changes. Everything was running smoothly and we were running competitive lap times, clawing our way back from fifteen laps down. Then Frank had a rear-brake lockup and put two wheels off going into the Hook. A black flag was issued and we rushed to the penalty area where a warning from the judges ensued and we sent him back out. No sooner had we returned to our paddock before we saw Frank heading back to the penalty area. This time it was errant flag with the judge asking, "why are you back here?" Black flag? "Not for you. Sorry. On your way."
Dave was fourth in the car and put down some blistering lap times to help keep us near the leaders. Then it was my time for my first stint and once I got going it was rather fun. Our car had little horsepower but it seemed like we could out-brake just about every car out there. I don't recall seeing any of the lead cars so my lap times must have been somewhat comparable. I had a few really good runs with other similarly-low-powered cars (really, not many of the entrants had much power which suited the racing and track just fine), including a good dice with the Elmo's Revenge #09 Saturn that ended when his left-front came into contact with my right-rear as we were turning into the Hook. I prepared for the worst and it sounded tragic but I was able to hold the inside line and complete the pass before cresting the hill. Overall though, the drivers were mostly courteous, staying out of the way and even giving point-bys. It was far from the red-mist induced slugfest I'd feared.
During the preceding laps I'd nearly had rear-brake lockup a couple times trying to brake too late heading into corners but was able to modulate brake pressure and keep the car straight. A couple laps after passing the Saturn I was able to get around 3 or 4 cars in a pack on the back straight and in an attempt to keep them behind, locked up the rears as I headed into the Karussel. Unfortunately I ran out of level pavement (and talent) and the concrete banking swung the rear around so that I was nearly facing on-coming traffic. At least in my panic I managed to keep the car running and got it into first gear and the car down to the apron just before the pack converged on the corner. 
I knew it was coming and nearly headed directly into the pits to go talk to the judges but I thought they would black flag me immediately. When that didn't happen, I started thinking, "Well, maybe they missed it. Or maybe they're taking pity on me..." But sure enough, just after pit-in I saw the black flag emphatically pointed and thus began my lap of shame as every single flag station made sure to signal that I'd done something stupid and was about to pay for it. I wasn't too nervous until I pulled into the judges' area and Judge Jonny came over and gave me the throat-slitting hand motion.
"Excuse me?" I choked out.
"Cut the engine. You're done."
Panic. Done?! WTF*&^#*&^!^!# Richie hadn't been in the car yet and there was still lots of racing left to do. I switched the car off, loosened the belts, and hit the kill switch.
"Out of the car."
No. This isn't happening. Lots of internal cussing. Then I realized that I couldn't get out of the car due to not-quite-matching cool-shirt fittings we had hastily zip-tied together.
"Uh, do you have a knife?" I asked.
"What?" Judge Lieberman asked, no doubt more confused that I was.
Colin later pointed out that I should have unhooked the hoses from the cooler itself: another lesson learned.
"I'm sorta zip-tied in..." and I motioned towards my crotch area where the hoses connected to my shirt.
Jonny then handed me the dullest pocket knife I've ever seen. It took what seemed five minutes to cut the ties off, the entire time he's asking me what I'd done if the car was on fire, etc etc. Finally free, I crawled out and took off my helmet and HANS.
"Now, go get your entire team and come back," Jonny said.
I gave him a blank stare and he repeated the command. As I started jogging back to our paddock space, a couple team mates had already started coming over. Eric was off tending to his son so Colin assumed team captain duties and our friend Matt stepped in to help...by taking pictures.
Judge Jonny then handed me a brown afro wig, "Put this on," and set a sack of paints and brushes on the hood of our car.
"Now, you're to pick a scene from this book of Bob Ross paintings and why don't you paint it right over your 'Meller Yeller' sticker. Go ahead and make it the full length of the hood. Just don't cover your car number. And make sure it doesn't suck or we'll make you do it over."
I quickly picked the easiest picture I could find and we went to work. As happened all weekend long, when a car was found to be sitting in the penalty area for longer than a couple minutes, a crowd gathered to witness the penance. We hurriedly painted a serene picture of a waterfall cascading between happy little trees, including highlights in the pool below, signed it B. Ross and once again were judged good enough and sent on our way. While the team took the car back to our paddock, I washed out the brushes and returned them along with the wig. I wish I could say we were the only team upon which such penance was levied, but our paddock-mates in GoGoDyne Racing endured the same fate the following day.
After suffering our second black flag (or third counting Frank's no-fault stop) we were well back from the leaders and our time in the car became damage control. We left Richie out longer as his first 25 minutes or so was under double-yellow which happened more and more frequently as the weekend went on (funny that, $500 cars breaking). In order to make friends, and more importantly not get votes for "the People's Curse", we handed out a box of Track Daze t-shirts, starting with the judges and staff, then making our way around the paddock.
My second stint in the car closed out the day and I definitely took it easier than my first outing. I needed to regain confidence with my ability to brake and not spin and I definitely didn't fight for passes like I had earlier in the day. It didn't help that the clutch had started slipping again; 2nd gear was all but impossible to engage unless the car was nearly stopped. I also didn't bother with the cool-shirt as the second stint was only about 30 minutes and with the sun flirting with the treeline, it had cooled considerably but was still far from comfortable. Hoping out of the car, we felt we'd done a pretty good job considering the situation. It was time for a quick shower and then some more excellent food and beverages. And more beverages. Later on that night a handful of us wandered around the paddock going from commotion to commotion, chatting with folks about issues they were attempting to fix or at least mitigate. Matt helped the eventual 2nd-place-overall/class 1 winner, Duct Tape Motorsports #469 E30 318 with a transmission swap. 
Sunday morning was just as early, bright, hot, and humid as Saturday. The drivers' meeting was again at 10am followed by the People's Curse. Normally, this is when the team with the most votes gets their car destroyed with a backhoe, or dropped from a crane, or something similar. This was not to be at Capitol Offense. Instead, a scapegoat car was destroyed with a .30 caliber machine gun mounted in the bed of a pickup truck. I, for one, was slightly disappointed not to get to watch a fellow competitor's car demolished. That could have been that one guy that cut me off multiple times, or turned into us repeatedly, or was a clear cheater car–really? an E36 3-series for $500?
After checking fluids and brake pads, and swapping front tires, we decided that Eric would start the second part of the race and got him strapped in with a new water bottle fixed up. We then headed to the top of the bridge to watch the cars circulate. Unlike Saturday, the top ten cars were lined up and sent out first, followed by everyone else. Eric managed to make it out four spots behind the lead ten which would mean he would be able to stay out of traffic and possibly gain back some laps. This time we saw the green flag drop and everyone on the bridge cheered. Eric was jumped on the start because we couldn't communicate that the race had started and he wasn't able to get going full speed until he saw the green flag himself after Big Bend. But once he got up to speed he started making up spots and caught the jumping car going into the braking zone for the Loop, along with several other entertaining passes. And then he was black flagged.
We quickly cruised down the judges' area and asked why he'd been flagged. The transponder battery was dead. While Richie grabbed zip-ties and a pair of dikes, I retrieved the new transponder. Richie changed it out as fast as possible and we sent Eric back out. Timing and scoring (T&S) picked up the new unit and we were good to go. Richie drove the next 45 minutes with Dave following. Then things got worse.
Checking on Richie's times just after sending Dave out we noticed T&S wasn't updating. Dave had been out there at least 2 or 3 laps but no time had been posted and he'd lost a position, falling to 31st. We talked to the folks in T&S who realised that we hadn't received a lap time in over 50 minutes–all of Richie's stint–and had Dave black flagged so that we could change the transponder again. Once changed, Dave headed back out and had a good run going with an Escort wagon before he had to drive off track to avoid contact. Another black flag ensued. Dave came in again, pleaded his case, seemed to have convinced the judges it wasn't his fault but was then slapped with a 30-minute impound penalty for speeding in the pits. Obviously we'd made the judges unhappy. Lesson learned. Our 11th place position quickly dropped as did our hopes for an improbable top-ten finish.
It was my turn after the penalty time had elapsed and I took it fairly easy having a good run with a 924 for most of my session and attempting to baby the clutch that was now slipping even more. Colin was next and was black flagged for locking up the brakes going into the Hook–it was a great place to pass people–and driving off track. Being the savvy racer he is, he was able to convince the judges that it was completely his fault: he had run out of car, made an error in judgment and, most importantly, that he wouldn't do it again. Frank finished out the race and took the checkered flag. As the cars pitted, a crowd gathered at pit-in with the judges congratulating each driver as they rolled through.
After 10 hours of racing on Saturday and another four and a half hours on Sunday, TrackDaze of Thunder finished 66 laps behind the leader, good enough for 24th place overall out of 84 starters, 11th in class. We had the 10th fastest lap of the entire weekend and 6th fastest lap in class. I would definitely agree that the skills we learn and teach at our own events played a significant role in our performance and safety. In retrospect, we learned a lot: six drivers is two too many; stints need to be fewer and longer; communication is key; how to better prepare; most of all, next time bring more and better bribes. To that end, we look forward to fielding a second car at the 24 Hours of LeMons at CMP in September and will be doing further testing and learning at our August VIR event.
(Photos by: Jon Felton, Colin Jevens, Matt Slatner, Scott @ racedayvinyl.com, Near Orbital Space Monkeys)
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(Video by: Hero GoPro HD)
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